And then it got to this...

So by now you've read the background on the delightful family situation.... as you can tell mine is something of the extraordinary... and the general day to day goings on could give Walford a run for its money...



Back in January, things started to really go down the crapper at my mum's house. The kids were refusing to go to school, and Paige was in her last year at secondary school and seriously screwing up her exams. The boy had completely stopped going, and everything was being blamed on the affair that had been discovered in the summer. Now, don't get me wrong, I know that these things can have serious effects on kids, but the one thing that they need is support and routine. And these things are something my mother has never been able to provide.



The result was that at every opportunity, the eldest two children were walking all over my mother and resolutely refusing to go school because, quite frankly, they couldn't be arsed.



Now, I am the first one to admit that my attendance at school was definitely less than regular. I was expelled from my first secondary school for non-attendance, and there were many incidents during my time at the second when I came close to being booted out again. The difference with me was that I didn't even have a place I could call home. I spent four years moving 17 times between foster carers and friends' houses and really had no support whatsoever. Even though this was my situation, I knew that there was only one way I was ever really going to be able to sort my life out, and that was by getting an education and doing things for myself. I had no one handing me anything on a plate as a kid. If I needed money, I didn't get it unless I worked, and I had a succession of jobs from the age of 14 onwards. With all of this going on, I still managed to walk away from school with 9 GCSEs all A* to C, and 4 A Levels A* to C.


Because of this, I knew that even though you can have hardships going on, there are certain things in life that it is better to throw your energy into during these hard times, rather than giving up on them completely, and I wasn't about to let the kids go down that road.


The school ordered a quick succession of meetings with my mother and as I was a previous pupil and they knew that I played a big role in the kids lives, they wanted me present too. This originally went down well, but when everyone involved realised that I was about to blow the whistle on them and give them a few home truths, well, that didn't go down so well.

My mother was given the facts. Six months had passed since the affair had been discovered and she hadn't moved on a day. She was becoming bitter and twisted, and had a bad habit of discussing every small detail of what was occurring in front of all the children, sometimes even in front of their friends. She wasn't going to work and was at risk of losing her job, and she needed to pull it together and sort it out. The situation was not going to change, and she had to move on and act responsibly for the sake of the children. It wasn't about her anymore, it was about them.

The children were told that they were trying to take every available liberty going and I could see through them. The affair was becoming an excuse for their lack of interest in school, and my mother was encouraging this by lying to the school and providing excuses on days when the kids decided they didn't want to go. This all had to stop.

So the result was this: The boy has steadfastly refused to talk to me since January of this year, as it was the first ever time that I had gone against him in something. I have always supported the children in whatever they have wanted if they have been in the right, but on this occasion he wasn't, so I wasn't going to allow it.

The school decided that the best course of action would be for Paige to be removed to my care for the remainder of the school year, so as to ensure that she attended school and achieved the best possible grades in her exams. This did not go down well with my mother, but everyone knew that the strokes Paige had been pulling with my mother would most certainly not wash with me at all. So it was done.

So I became Mum. And it was a wake up call. I've had my own place for years now, and although I always have people over, and there is never an opportunity to get lonely, I didn't know just how used to having my own space I really was. I had a one bedroom place, and now I had a teenager too, and going from sleeping in a bed with one of the girls on a weekend to sleeping in a bed with my sister every night (who throws her weight and elbows around to no end while sleeping, I can assure you) was alarming. Nothing was mine anymore... clothes, toiletries... you name it. And it became claustrophobic. But I knew what my responsibility was and I was adamant that any inconveniences would be fine in the long run if Paige turned out okay.

So we got to grips with it. Purse strings were pulled in tightly (neither Paige's mother or father felt that they should be financially providing for her if she wasn't living with them) and routines were established. I wasn't there to be a constant whirlwind of barking orders, but there were certain things that had to be done and that was that. Schoolwork was priority and perhaps creating some sort of plan for her to start achieving.

And it all started to work. Paige's attendance at school increased by 80%. She was attending every lesson and completing all outstanding work (some of which had been outstanding for months). And revision for exams was being done. Now I knew that Paige was somewhat behind when it came to her studies, so I knew that we weren't going to get a full sweep across the board when results day came, but we both said that if Paige did her best, then that would be enough.

And then Paige decided that she wanted to stay.