Some good news!

So I got some good news yesterday… I got a phone call from the Social Services department… and they had returned my interest in becoming a respite foster carer and will be in touch within the next five days to arrange a home visit to see if I qualify with living arrangements!

YAY!!!

Now let me explain about this one. It has not just risen out of nowhere this idea. Admittedly, me moving into a two bed place for the sake of my sister and then having her bugger off has enabled me to be in a position where I can have it happen… but the consideration has been there for years. There are many reasons why I would love to foster children.

1. I’ve been there and I’ve done it. Yep, leaving my mother’s house at 12 inevitably led to me going through the system… and I spent the good part of the next 7 years moving a total of 23 times, if my memory of my records isn’t failing me. I didn’t really have the most stable of childhoods… far from it… but one of the most settled times I had was when I lived with a foster carer called Doreen for a year. I remember being taken to her house for the first night. Up until that point I had been pretty much couch surfing with various relatives, and my aunt Dawn was the one who made me realise that I couldn’t carry on doing it. So naïve as I was, I decided to take myself to a local children’s home I knew of, and almost ‘hand myself in’. Obviously, I had no idea that there was process to be followed, and was swiftly turned away and told to visit the Social Services office the next day. I did, and that night I was placed with Doreen. Doreen was in her 50s, and had a 19 year old son and a 21 year old daughter of her own. Her daughter also had a two year old son, and she also had two other foster children who were siblings who lived with her. These guys became my family for the next year. I thrived at school, made some lifelong friends, as it was the only year of my schooling where I regularly attended (never missed a day!) and got a little piece of childhood. My time at Doreen’s never ended on a bad note… I simply agreed to visit my mother who managed to manipulate me into staying (it lasted a month, and then couch surfing it was again, my place at Doreen’s had been filled), and I am still friends with her biological children to this day. Sadly, she died a little over three years ago.

I know what its like to be thrown into that situation. I lived it and breathed it. And I came out of it not too badly, when I could have walked down a very different path. I would like to be somebody’s Doreen. I want to be the person who has that blind bit of faith in someone, and genuinely just wants somebody to be okay.

2. I have had my fair share of bad experiences. I have pretty much seen most things and done most things… which doesn’t make me some old fart who doesn’t know what they’re talking about.

3. I have never felt strongly about having my own children. Let me explain. I have always wanted children. For a while now, I have had the odd thought about ‘wouldn’t it be nice to be settled down and the like now’… but I don’t think that will happen for me. I can be ferociously guarded when it comes to men, and that doesn’t make for building strong relationships with them. This probably relates to point 2 above, as to why that may be, but that it the way it is. I am also petrified about getting pregnant and giving birth. I cannot think of anything that scares me as much as that. Some of my friends are currently pregnant, or have had children, and it is something that I cannot imagine ever going through without the paralysation of fear from it beforehand! I also have strong feelings towards the view that we don’t need to give birth to a child for it to be ours, there is a lot more that goes into being a parent to somebody other than DNA. I think I would much rather adopt in my future than have my own children anyway.

4. I have had my fair share of experience with kids. Seven brothers and sisters… and an ability to be brilliantly entertained by playing with a toddler for four hours I feel is a gift that should not be wasted.

I am not going into this blind. I understand that I am young, and some people may say too young. But there are women out there who are having children, some of whom I could end up looking after who are younger than me, and may need help. I am mature, and knowledgeable, and I think that I make most decisions after careful thought. I am a person who tries to help everybody, and there are some people who may abuse that trait, and that includes children, but there are also children that need that help. Far too many people are having children with no real concern for their welfare, and there are those that simply cannot cope on their own, and if I can help by giving some time and some care, then why not? What are my alternatives? Going out and spending money on alcohol in places I really would rather not be in? Sit at home doing nothing? Why not spend some of that time by providing a safe and loving environment that some children may be lacking, or may never have received.

I have applied to be a respite foster carer for a start, which means that I would be caring for children on weekends and possibly helping out during school holidays. This will allow me to carry on working for the moment, and allow me to build up my confidence and decide whether I would want to make a more permanent progression towards it as a permanent lifestyle. I have also said that I would be willing to care for a child with difficulties, be those physical or mental, and although this could prove the most challenging of situations I have been in so far, I feel that it would also be the most rewarding.

So fingers crossed guys!